Testimonial: In vitro fertilization: the failure of the first transfer and the options for the future

The embryologist calls me back on day #5 of my second embryo left in extended culture to tell me that it also fragmented. We won't have any embryos to put in the freezer yet this time. Moreover, this news does not reassure me for the little coconut that was transferred to me. Why would he have reacted differently?

I manage to pass these 2 weeks quite calmly, I try not to think too much about what may be developing in my belly and I refuse to do a homemade pregnancy test. I want to stay hopeful. A few days before my blood test, I feel tightness in my lower abdomen, as I have every month when my period approaches...

February 6 day #29: blood test early in the morning... waiting for the nurse to call... result: negative, I am not pregnant. Stopping Promethium and Estrace, starting my period. The nurse still sets me an appointment with the doctor for February 20 to talk about what to do next. Well yes, barely another failure occurs and we try to move on, that's how we survive the procedures in a fertility clinic.

That evening, a very good friend showed up at my house. She didn't know that I had my blood drawn that day. (I could no longer talk about my efforts and my disappointments with those around me, so I decided not to share this part of my life too much anymore...) She tells me very good news: she is pregnant! (she and her boyfriend have been trying to conceive for what... 3-4 months?!?) I swear to you, I was really happy for her, but it seems like the timing of the day really got in my way. Why wasn't I entitled to that happiness?

February 20: meeting with my doctor. She explains to me that obviously there is a problem with my eggs or with my boyfriend's sperm. It is not normal for embryos to fragment in such large numbers. That's when she talks to me about sperm or egg donation, in order to change the components, to promote better embryos. She explains to me that you can buy sperm at a cost of more or less $500, but that if you want the assurance that the donor is not a carrier of a genetic disease, such as cystic fibrosis for example, it costs more. As for eggs, it's around $7,000. But we also have the possibility of finding a donor in our area. Any attempt with a donation (regardless of its nature) will count towards my 3 trials covered by the government. At that point I had 2 left (as my first IVF didn't count). I am really free to go for the option that I want, I don't feel any pressure from my doctor. Thanks to the chance we have to have access to this government program, I let him know that I would like to make other attempts with our “own equipment”, by leaving the embryos in culture for a long time (up to 5 days before a transfer); in case of fragmentation of all the embryos, as this will not count, I will work hard for a while. However, during this struggle, I will try to find a donor in my area. Since I am the one who has CF, it seems more logical to change my genetic material. In addition, darling's eyes are so beautiful, they are the ones I would like to see in my children!

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