Psychological health: Authenticity is the secret

Sometimes, the disease has the gift of playing tricks on us. It gives us the impression of being a punishment, an enemy to defeat, an obstacle to our projects, an obstacle to our happiness. It promotes a state of disappointment, discouragement and even decrease. It is not always easy to value ourselves by living with limitations, especially in a society where we have a strong tendency to compare ourselves, to favor surpassing ourselves and to live in accordance with others.

The secret is to always be positive, we are told! But can we be authentic first? Who are we? What are we experiencing? What do we have to tell ourselves? To be happy despite CF, we must start by better understanding who we are and what we are going through, which requires recognizing the positives and the negatives that are part of our inner dialogue. It is the path to balance.

It is easy to blame everything on the disease, but we are human too and we sometimes forget it...

When I think back to all my happy moments as well as all the other moments of waiting at home or in the hospital in order to get back on with my life, I realize that this happiness was futile and that it did not allow me to live a full life. Indeed, I felt a great emptiness inside me that could only be filled if I obtained or achieved something. I was waiting to get better, waiting to have something rewarding to tell. My happiness was not free, it constantly depended on an external situation, often on my health and often on the eyes of others.

But the worst thing I realized was that even with optimal health, doing great things, enjoying good times, I was no happier!

All these years of blending everything on CF, when it is nothing more than an obstacle, like all the others! Certainly, an obstacle that takes up a lot of space in daily life. But in our
Thoughts, it is we who choose how much we want to give it this importance!

The more I think about the disease, the more it makes me sick
anger. She disappoints me. She scares me. So I want to fight it! But the more I fight, the more I get away from love... I refused to accept it for so many years when it wasn't even an option. Whether I accept it or refuse it, it is there and nothing will make it go away. However, I can accept or refuse to be happy while recognizing her presence. I can choose to go to war or I can choose to love and forgive him. Do we really win the fight through war? So how much do we have to lose before we claim victory?

If I already asked myself the question “What is the point of illness for me? What did CF bring me? What does she want to teach me in life? ” It's a good way to start a change.

Illness is not our worst enemy. It teaches us so much and makes us ambassadors of courage and perseverance. It is often said “I did not choose it” but no one chooses their life and no one is an exception to the rule. Why do so many people suffer so much from a situation that may seem so trivial to their neighbor? It is not the situation or the disease, it is the vision we have of it that makes all the difference.

CF makes us the exceptional people that we are. It now allows us to grow, to surpass ourselves, to understand the meaning of life, of time, and the importance of spending time with the people we love. In my case, I lacked attention and affection when I was young to such an extent that suffering took over me. But thanks to CF, I received attention, care, and the sense of touch. CF has ironically and undeniably saved my life.

We cannot deny the pain it causes in our lives and in the lives of the people we love. We need to recognize what she brings to our lives with as much openness, honesty, and courage as possible. But above all, we must learn to put our luggage on our shoulders and not forget that each human has their own luggage to carry. Then, you have to open the bag and lighten it.

If I have lived badly with this disease, it is because I fought to throw the luggage at the end of my arms. But no one is going to get it back, it's mine. By refusing to carry my luggage, by trying to project it onto others or to make it disappear, I denied, rejected, hated a part of me. Because this baggage, the illness, emotions and experiences it contains are part of me! I let the disease divide me, break me, by relentlessly trying to smash it to the ground. Now, I am learning to retrieve the coins one at a time, to collect and value our beautiful and great history.

You have to express your truth, you have to allow yourself to be yourself in all authenticity even if it involves things that seem obscure to us. Illness, anger, sadness, mistakes... it's human! And we are human! We have nothing to be ashamed of. We tend to blame everything on illness but all humans suffer from different problems and whether it's an illness, a trial, a bereavement, a failure, a separation, the emotions remain the same and they are entirely human.

It is up to us to write our story and the great thing is that we have a choice of words.

We should not belittle or hide ourselves because we are sick. Without identifying ourselves with the disease, we have the right to express what it makes us experience and feel! It is by expressing our emotions that we can go through them, to free ourselves from them! By accumulating them, by denying them, by playing to the strongest possible, they settle silently in us and will occupy more and more importance in our internal dialogue. They become toxic thoughts and prevent us from seeing who we are and things as they are.

If, by listening to our inner dialogue, we realize that we talk or think a lot about the disease, we may be giving it too much space in our lives. We must not allow illness to define us as humans! We are so much more than that... It is a very, very long journey to discover who we are, without relying on the disease alone. I invite you to play the game! Try to be aware of all the times you define yourself according to the disease and try to discover who you are, taking it into the background.

Only when we fully accept our strengths, our weaknesses, our fears, our fears, our dreams, our dreams, our emotions, our suffering, our baggage, and our being as it is will we allow ourselves to live, to the fullest. Let's accept each other, as fully-fledged humans! It is the most beautiful thing we can give ourselves and these unique colors that represent us are our gift to the world. Nobody can be you, it's beautiful!

When we welcome ourselves as we are, the disease becomes more bearable. It allows us to progress, to grow, to equip ourselves to better cope with the obstacles of tomorrow. We live like everyone else, illness is not everything! It should never be forgotten...

Many of us want peace in the world, but that peace must first take root in us. We must learn to cultivate love for who we are, with illness, in order to live in peace. We can even learn to love what it makes us, who we become. Violence begets violence. Love breeds love, life, miracles, healing! Not necessarily physical healing but, to a certain degree, the healing of our wounds. Then, by stopping suffering because of all our scenarios, we no longer need to fight. Life is beautiful and perfect just the way it is. This is the whole secret of love, of authenticity, it is the best way to meet the present moment.

Sophie Jacob

Writer
Saint-Remi (Quebec) Canada

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