Testimonial: My 3rd IVF, the last... definitely...

Let's go back a bit, my 3^E IVF. I am doing this IVF simply to be at peace with myself, to tell myself that I have really gone to the end of my strength, to be serene with the adoption procedures that we are undertaking. But I also make it boring: the numerous appointments exhaust me, I have difficulty being well in the process, I no longer ask my boyfriend to accompany me for the majority of appointments. Here's what the schedule for this test looked like:

March 13: day #1

March 16: day #4, ultrasound; everything is fine we're leaving, start of Gonal-F and Luveris

March 18: day #6, blood test

March 20: day # 8, ultrasound, a few more follicles stand out, but not enough, we increase Gonal-F

March 21: day # 9, we start Cetrotide

March 22: day #10, ultrasound is still positive, 5-6 follicles in each ovary; we continue the ovarian stimulation a little bit and then we trigger ovulation on March 25 (day # 13). However, we are reducing the HCG dose compared to my last 2 protocols, my hormones are already in the mix. Attention should be paid to ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome.

March 27: day #15, we go back to Ste-Justine. Of course, Chéri is with me, he must make his contribution and pick me up after the intervention! Luckily, it went better than last time, much less pain (you know, at that time, we are happy about everything that happens!). However, I have a slight discomfort when breathing, I feel like I have water on my lungs. We punctured 12 eggs, again it's encouraging, but I don't allow myself any more hope: not capable of disappointments.

March 28, day #1 of the embryos: call from the embryologist, 10 eggs have been fertilized, great! But we still have good results at this stage, it's after it gets bad.

You remember my plan: wait at all costs on day #5 of the embryos, so as not to lose another one of my 3 IVFs, in case I change my mind one day...

March 30: day #3 of the embryos, Chéri left for work since I am not planning to go to Montreal for a transfer before day 5. Call from the embryologist: we have good news and bad news. We have a beautiful embryo, but the other 9 have all fragmented. But the embryologist explains to me that the embryo that has developed well is of very good quality, and that we generally do not hesitate, we make a transfer on day 3 when we have such beautiful embryos. However, he sees the note in my file: if you want to wait until day #5, the choice is yours. Now I think of my doctor who tells me that there is no better incubator than the uterus, and of my desire not to repeat other attempts later. Well couso, we're going to listen to the embryologist, he knows his job after all. I go up to Ste-Justine. I arrive a bit late, alone, a bit stressed. To my surprise, my doctor who follows me to my regional clinic made the transfers that day. (I didn't even know she worked at Ste-Justine, and she also works at Procrea! Really, doctors deserve their salary...). The transfer is going well (despite this dirty routine urge to pee). However, I am told that my ovaries are still a bit large, a sign that I had a slight ovarian hyperstimulation, but not severe enough to be treated. However, I feel very swollen in my stomach and I gained a few pounds following this protocol.

And then the waiting starts. The blood test must be done on 13 April. The days go by and I feel like the last time: stomachache, feeling that my period will start from one day to the next. Again, I am not allowing myself any home pregnancy tests; even though I am grieving, with my symptoms, I want to keep the twigs of hope until the end. I don't want to know it didn't work out, I would be in doubt forever if I could.

April 13: day #32, I show up for my blood test. But I don't want to know the result, I find myself an activity outside the home. I ask the nurse to call my boyfriend to give him the result, it's his turn to be disappointed. Arriving home, Chéri left me a message, and told me to call him... I wait an hour or 2 before calling him back. Well, I can't stay in denial for the rest of my life. Hello darling, it's me, okay?

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