Testimonial: My desire for multiple pregnancy: between fantasy, law and fear of childbirth

To put you in context, with free IVF, doctors are required to transfer only one embryo per cycle, unless they consider specific conditions (where the success rate is reduced).

At my first egg puncture, I tried to convince the doctor that it might be interesting, in my case, to transfer 2 embryos. I tried to convince him with the following argument: with CF, ovarian stimulations are difficult for me, and since they require a lot from my body, they should be limited. If 2 embryos were transferred to me, I would have a better chance of not doing the process again.

You have to understand here that I would VERY much like (like the majority of couples who go through the fertility process) to have twins, for all the trouble we are having, we tell ourselves that if at least our family were made at once, we would not need to do it all over again for the second.

The doctor made it clear to me that on the contrary, in my case, a twin pregnancy would really not be a good idea. It is a risky pregnancy after all (... yay worse??? I am ready for anything!) But I can see that there is nothing I can do to convince him, he has the law behind him.

Even before embarking on the fertility process, I always wanted a multiple pregnancy. Since I was a teenager, when we asked girls if we wanted children, my answer has always been: yes, I want 4, quadruplets.

After the doctor answered, I asked myself why I had this desire. The answer came to me after thinking about it.

As a young girl, how do we explain to us what childbirth is? In my case, it happened in secondary 3 (what are we, 14-15 years old at the time?). The biology teacher, a man who is close to retirement and a bit uncomfortable with the subject, was supposed to cover this subject. For him, the simple way to present childbirth to young people without having to talk about it directly and openly was to present us with a complete video of the birth of a woman who had chosen a natural birth (without an epidural or otherwise).

But what image does that leave in the heads of teenagers of that age? Without too much contextualization? For my part, it is now that I understand what it did to my subconscious. A visceral fear of childbirth, and a feeling of inferiority compared to men: why should I (we women) be the one who should give me this horror? Hence my desire for multiple pregnancies: you get rid of this horrible end only once, to start the whole family.

Here is my little aside where I question our entire approach to the issue with young people, I hope that today we no longer traumatize adolescent girls with this kind of videos.

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