Testimonial: A beautiful love story

When I met him, we were young. He from Ontario, me from Quebec. We got to know each other on the Internet. And yes, on Outaouais Web! That's already 12 years ago.

He has cystic fibrosis, a genetic disorder that affects various organs, but especially the lungs and the digestive system. He has to take about twenty pills a day, pumps, exercise to clear his lungs, see his team of doctors and therapists every 3 months and so on. I know all this because I have learned to live with him and the disease.

He told me that and it was written on my screen in our MSN chat. I typed her name on the Internet and saw that Celine Dion's niece had died as a result. I didn't know much about the disease after all, but I was interested in it.

I can still imagine my mother saying to me: “But Janie, do you know that he has an illness? and me, to answer him “Yes, I know that and I will deal with it when the time comes.” I know she was worried to death. A mom is always worried about her child. I know it, I am one now. She was afraid for her daughter: afraid that I would hurt myself, afraid that I would hurt myself, afraid that I would not have the love life that I deserve, afraid that I would not be able to have the small family that I dreamed of.

“I love him, what do you want? You don't choose at that time. Illness or not, it's him.”

We did everything that a “normal” couple does. We went to the movies, we saw our friends. We went out to bars at night, went to bed at 3 am, and got up at 7 am for college classes.

Then we decided to buy a house. And then it was time to think about having a child. It was my first real encounter with the disease. We could not do this child intimately the way we want. We were going to have to do fertility treatments. For me, it was the only way forward and I was going to do everything they told me to do to make our dream come true.

I could feel the love and the admiration he had for me. I couldn't believe my strength and courage for all these appointments, exams, injections, etc. But the treatments were not easy on our couple. He felt responsible, responsible for imposing this on me, responsible that I had to suffer physically, responsible for the failures because if I were with another man, I would not have to go through that. Imagine how sad it was to hear him say all that to me. Imagine how hard it is to live with that feeling of guilt.

Luckily, on the second attempt, the insemination worked. Logan joined our family on September 25, 2013, a month earlier than expected. He was eager to meet us.

I am proud of my lover and all that he does. He takes care of himself, works out, lectures, runs 10 km, volunteers for the cause, takes care of our son, and always thinks of Logan and me first.

It's not easy every day, but I don't stop at that. These are the people who remind me that my spouse has fragile health. I can't think about it every day, it would be awful. Of course, sometimes I feel sad, to imagine losing him, being alone with my son. But I made the choice to look forward and enjoy life. It is too short to think about the future.

I feel that it was put in my path for a lot of reasons: to give me strength, to make me live the great love, to give me a son, to take care of me and to teach me how to live from day to day.

I don't know how long he will be in my life, but for now, I am making the most of it.

It's my life and I like it that way. That's all I know.

To you my lover xxx

Janie Bertrand Gatineau, Quebec
Canada

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